11/9 /2016

couple in bed with chihuahuas at around 4AM

husband gets up to go to the bathroom, comes back to bed checks phone….. says nothing

wife- what?! who won?

husband -Trump

wife- what?

husband – yes…..

wife—sort of sobbing…. I can’t believe this… how did this happen?… I am not ready for this…..

husband- well… now we know how the disenfranchised feel, now we know what it is like to live in an unsafe country. Not a safe place, not a good place.

wife–more of a sobbing thing.

husband hugs wife,  wife knows she is blessed to have such a husband.

chihuahuas breath softly– chihuahuas feel safe…..

I run a sweet mysore program here in Durham North Carolina.

this morning we were tired,  bewildered, sad and confused.

This morning I could not remember the chant.

I have been saying and singing and thinking and feeling that chant for 25 years.

This morning it was not there. It had been knocked out of me. I teach my mysore and then I practice……

I did 5 A’s  5 B’s standing lots of backbends  long shoulder stand and headstand… It was

W.Kandinsky, Verstummen

Kandinsky Verstummen/Stil 1924

odd… the depth and width of my 25 years of practice helping me piece together this particular practice…. And there it was… my practice, my inner world, my gift from god, my art, my reason, my best friend that is not flesh but rather spirit– vectors– opposing forces- light and space and time. The wonder of it all felt unusually unusual.

By the end of my practice, I had the chant back in my mind. It still did not make sense, but it was in there.

I am not going to make any huge moves today.

I am going to take this day smoothly.

I am not going to over eat out of some kind of comfort seeking.

I am going to brush my chihuahuas’ teeth.  I am going to remember to get gas in my car because it is way  way empty.

I am going  food shopping and will make a yummy vegan dish from Isa Chandra’s amazing cookbook for that husband I am so blessed to be sharing my life with.

I am going to remember to be grateful for my family and friends and yoga practice and yoga community. I am going to chew my food. I am going to walk my dogs.

I am going to stick  with love because hate is too great a burden to bear.